Hello all! I haven’t been posting about myself as much lately as for the last couple of weeks I have been going through some massive releases and a lot of pain has been coming up.
I have been triggered by experiences until the pain in my core has been touched. This is a pain that I have been carrying since I was born and that I have chosen to heal in this lifetime.
We have now come to the point where our core wounds are being brought to light and the incoming energies are helping with the healing of deep trauma. My particular trauma from many lifetimes is the fear of being alone. Not the kind where I fear to spend time by myself but the kind where I feel abandoned and left on this earth all by myself. No support, no protection, no one to love and no one to love me, feeling lonely and unloved even if there are people around who care for me. The pain comes from feeling disconnected from the Universe, to not be able to feel the support of the Universe.
This deep pain has been triggered within me because I have always felt like I needed to fight to make money to pay my bills or just to prove myself that I am good enough and worthy to receive love. I pushed myself so hard to make it happen because I have always felt that there is no other way. I need to take care of myself because I didn’t feel the that connection with the Universe and that is who provides for all. I felt seperated from Source and this illusion of seperation has hurt me in so many lifetimes that I am feeling it in my whole system right now. I have been feeling exhausted because my spirit would leave my body due to the cause of the pain of these memories in all my cells. I have felt anxiety every time a thought about the unknown future came up. I would grasp for air for a moment from the fear that I felt. I feel it in ALL my chakra’s and when love flows through them it feels like warm water is being poured on an open wound and this is very painful.
Seperation is an illusion yet I have believed it for so many lifetimes that my body is having a difficult time accepting the real truth and parting with the pain. Is the new future something to be trusted? Is it really going to bring me a change for the good or will I be fooled for trusting it?
My body is in need of reassurance like a small child that does not understand what is happening and why everything it has always known is falling apart.
If you are experiencing a big shift within yourself and you do not know why you feel the way you feel: know that you can relax and trust that all that you are feeling right now is the path to the new you. Your karmic coding is now ready to leave your system and even though this feels painful it is so that you can be free from all of your fears and illusions.
Tell yourself that you are ready to release all that is no longer in service of the higher good and feel the love from the Universe and your spirit guides. You are so loved through this whole process. Even if you don’t feel it: know it, be aware of the support and do not let yourself be caught up in the negative thinking. You are moving through this and you will get out of this. That’s a promise the Universe is making to you, be sure of that!