This picture made me laugh because this is SO me! 😂🥴🤣
I have been so grumpy and so annoyed with the healing process this past week! I struggled this time because I felt like absolute crap.
I have been going through a major shift / release since last week Friday triggered by a death of somebody I have known from the past. It wasn’t even someone I had a good connection wit and yet it felt like I had lost a dear soul sister of mine. Which she has been in other lifetimes and it still had a big impact on me. She had already come to me in spirit after it happened and offered me lots of insights which made go deeper into my inner world and of course trigger my hidden pains.
Feelings of loss, abandonment, betrayal, anger came up like I haven’t yet felt before. Memories in my subconsciousness from past lives and from my bloodline came flooding over me. For the past week I have felt physical pain in my left shoulder/ neck from the trauma stored in my body caused by the pain in my heart. It was a challenging process to release this and it had all to do with letting go and opening up to trust people and God again. Because of the amount of loss I experienced I have never been able to trust people or Source energy, not fully anyway, only partly and very selective. But not trusting God means not trusting my own soul and therefore attracting situations and people that made me feel alone in the world. This in its turn caused for my heart to close and I have experienced pain in the back of my heart chakra because it is time to open up and receive love.
During these moments of painful releases through extensive amount of tears I have heard myself think things like: “you have taken away the people I love, I trusted and believed in you. You promised to be there for me but you left me all alone. I would rather be dead then being on my own.” This was directed at God and there was so much anger because I have felt tricked as I trusted and yet was screwed over because I lost the people I loved. God had allowed for others to cause me pain by taking away my loved ones. Therefore God was the one to blame and not to be trusted. These were memories from wartimes and where many people died.. these releases happened in waves and during it I have felt so much pressure in my body that it felt like I was going to implode. On top of it the pain in the chakra’s that were blocked were very uncomfortable to feel as they were closed by the old emotions stuck in them. I can physically feel pain in them and the blockage of the flow in my body. Great indicator that I need to dive in there to free them, which I have no other option then to do.
I mostly dislike about this inner healing process is the physical pain that I feel when going through it. It makes me extremely cranky but staying aware of the process makes it bearable and when it’s over I feel like a heavy burden has been literally lifted from my body. These subconscious beliefs are taking too much space in the body and when it’s time for them to be released they will cause so much discomfort that there is no other choice but to let them go.
For me the only way to let this physical pain go is to go into my emotions and to feel them. To really embody my pain and to express it in the way that I feel I need to in the moment. Sometimes this means I feel extreme sadness and sometimes I need to express my anger at God. Either way these emotions can only leave if listen to them and if I allow them to be. No more oppression and pushing away of any kind of emotion. Our body wants to be heard and it wants to be freed from trapped pain. When we listen, when we truly listen to what our body is telling us we can heal any kind of disease. Because pain in the body is a symptom of unhealed emotions that have been oppressed for too long.
The healing that I have been going through for the past years and also the past week is something that is being freed within the collective energy as well. All of us have experienced abandonment, rejection, betrayal, dishonestly, lies at some point in our (past) lives and this needs to be released so we can trust Source again. When we trust Source we trust love. And when we trust love we can trust ourselves. We can’t separate ourselves from Source anymore because this way we distrust our own soul. We are restoring our connection with love and healing so many layers through these intense releases from the body.
If you are feeling like crap, I am here to reassure you that you are not alone in this. There are so many of us that have chosen to do this as part of the healing of the collective. We are helping others awaken to their own true selves. What we are doing is MAJOR energetic work and without us the awakenings for others wouldn’t go as fast as they are now. So I want you to know that you are doing incredible work by shifting your awareness and releasing trauma’s. What you have experienced in your life, especially if it has been heavy and traumatic, it is all part of the plan because this life you chose to free yourself in every way possible. Know that what you are feeling and experiencing will only help you to remember who you really are without the fears that have always held you back. That is coming to an end and freedom and peace are real!
You came to shift the consciousness in the collective by shifting your awareness.
My higher self has called these aches: triggers into awareness.
So let’s continue this dance of ups and downs knowing that we are creating a new reality for ourselves where seperation will only be a memory from a timeline that happened a very long time ago. We are jumping to a new timeline each time when we shift our awareness and we are doing this as a collective. I am a part of you as you are a part of me and there are MANY of us. Together we will heal and we will know freedom and peace.
I love you, thank you for reading and being part of my team! 🥰