I decided to talk to my higher self and ask what is going on with me and why I feel like a hermit. Solitude has become a dear friend of mine and it doesn’t feel like me anymore. This is the answer and maybe you can relate to it too. Enjoy!
“You are afraid of being overwhelmed and giving too much. This is a pattern in all your relationships which then causes you to feel drained and tired. Which causes you not want to put in the effort because you have no more energy left. You have given it your all.
Now is the time to rest and not to overcompensate for the time you didn’t invest in creating. You need to rest to gain clarity in what you really want to do and in who you really are. It is time not to give too much of yourself as you have always been doing in everything. Your investment in every relationship is big and full with devotion but it has never been a devotion towards yourself. You are not to blame for this because you did not know any better. Others cannot give you what you are looking for. And you are looking for fulfillment and completion.
Wholeness that is all on its own without feeling the need of wanting to connect to others to feel this. This is how it has always been with you in the past. Even with the drawings it is a connection that you make for others while the main reason for the drawings is the connection for yourself. It deepens your bond with your true passion and it comes from your heart where your connection lies. So I always encourage you to continue to do this but do not do this for others, do this because it makes you feel alive and because you feel devoted to yourself and your own happiness. You are now figuring out what is most important to you and how you should approach it.
Many do not know what makes them happy and even if they do they do not always fully do it for themselves but because they want to help others. But the lesson for you is to understand that happiness means a complete devotion to your own soul. To completely follow your instincts and your desires despite considering what others may or may not think of it. Because this is where your anxiety comes from: you want to give that which you do not have and then you fear that it will not be good enough for others. Proving yourself, wanting to receive and feel the love from others gives the human body stress.
There is nothing that you need to receive from others that will give you peace. Nobody can give you validation or approval that you are enough, that you are a good human being. Conditioned love is what makes you doubt yourself and what makes you feel less than what you really are inside. Just as everyone else that you know, you are searching for the true meaning of your life here. Now you are coming into alignment with the Source within you.
I know you can already feel it, I know that you are already feeling what the future is going to bring for you and yet you still doubt. You still doubt the path that I have chosen for you. I am the one that is guiding you towards your goal, although I do not like this word, you will be able to grasp the meaning of it. You too have a goal and what you are feeling and going through right now is the goal of this moment. This moment is a perfect moment that is the foundation for the mission that you will be doing in the near future. The goal is the current path you are on. The goal is your experience right now for the end result will always be the same.
You are bringing Home into this planet, you are creating a world of love and peace just as you are deep within. You are creating a new paradigm that reflects the love that you bring out from within your soul.
The more you come into this feeling of home (unconditional love) the more that you will contribute to changing the energy around you and creating New Earth. The world that you are all longing for. So bring down love by bringing out the devotion to love that you have towards yourself for this is where your personal portal of Source is and therefore also your personal power.
You are well on your way to throw off the illusions that all mankind has that love should be focused outward while in reality it is all to be found within your own heart.
I understand that this has been a painful process but you have to know that which is hurting is not who you really are. They are the illusions that you have come to accept in your reality and this is all changing for you as we are speaking. Each day you are transforming the energies of illusion into the truth and accepting yourself as you really are more and more.
I am very proud of and I could not have wished a better result than you are in right now. All is going according to plan for all of you who are currently going through the same emotions and releases. You are right on track and on time for the next shift in consciousness of humankind.
It will only become better and the force of love will only become stronger within all of you. You are all beacons of light for others. Oh, if you would only see how bright you are all shining and how many are being guided by your light. Get ready for changes in your future and be ready to receive more love than you have ever thought was possible.
This time around you will know what true love is without any attachments or expectations. Allow yourself to receive it and know that you are ready to become the truest version of yourself.”