Who am I?

When I feel something but I want to understand it in words I write. Writing is a wonderful medium that gives me clarity and to channel from my heart. I just let go and I write what I feel. Sometimes I set the intention to channel from my soul or another aspect that I wish to see the perspective from.
This time my higher self told me to write about myself so that I could feel the energy and receive a download of my own heart. This is what I wrote from and that I want to share with you. It is my truth, but I know much of what I feel many of you also feel deep inside. If you can relate to this then this message is for you.
From my heart to yours I am sending you so much love through this transmission. Enjoy!

Question: Who am I?

Answer from my heart:
“I like to take things slow, I like to observe, I like to feel and to experience. I like to go deep and to understand things until it’s felt in my bones. I like to be me at all times. I don’t like to hurry to be at a place, I don’t like to hurry others to reach their goals. I like to enjoy the process and I like to see the change that is happening. I am all about enjoying. Even the earthly life I chose to experience things slowly so I can process it all in a way that my whole body and essence understands it. It stresses me out when things go too fast and I panic because I feel I cannot catch up. I do not understand sudden changes well and why it has to abruptly go in a different direction than I expected it.

I like to understand, I like to know, I like to integrate my knowing into my reality at a pace that I am comfortable so things can change accordingly. This is why I like to wait and see what happens rather than jump blindly in opportunities. I am getting better at following my heart because I was always taught to follow my brain over my feelings and this has caused me much grief. I judged my experiences with my mind and I divided them in wrongs and rights.

I don’t believe I have done much right in my life. I don’t believe I have made the right decisions that lead to the desired outcomes. I feel I failed at many points in my life and I have had a hard time forgiving myself for them. But I am getting there. My strongest asset is my compassion. I am very forgiving for others and I can see the beauty and the challenges others go through. Now I am learning to apply this to myself, this is my challenge on earth. Loving myself is one of the most difficult things to achieve in this life as I have believed that in order to be loved I needed to prove myself. So I have tried to do this time after time and feeling that I have failed myself just as many times. But this is not true, this vision of myself is shifting now and I am gathering the pieces to my soul daily.

I am seeing the radiant and beautiful soul that I am in the human aspect of my soul. I chose to be me and to experience all that I have because I wanted to accept and love myself exactly as I am. I have made all the choices in my life to reach this point and to realize that I have done nothing wrong because if I did I would never be the woman that I am today. Today I can say I love myself, not quite fully yet, not quite as whole as I wish to yet but I am I am learning to accept all sides of myself.

I would think that loving the bad side would be more difficult than the good side. But this is not true because the good side has always been considered as mediocre and never as marvelous. I am becoming more balanced and I am now considering both sides as marvelous because without them I would not be this unique expression of God’s creation. I do not longer feel like punishing myself and being hard on myself because I do not live up to my own expectations. I give up on wanting to fit into my own view of being a perfect human. I am not perfect yet I am now aware I am a perfect, divine creation. I am flawless yet I am having human experiences that do not live up to the human standards of being a perfect human being.

The only reason that I have never felt accepted by others is because I never truly accepted myself. I have judged myself, I have punished myself by thinking I am not good enough and I believed society’s rules to be needing to be another, less version of myself.
I have been feeling cramped up and in pain trying to fit all my grandness into a small box created by other people’s expectations of who I should be.

I am breaking free and I am now showing my wings for all to see. I am admiring myself for the person that I am today and I can truly see that my experiences all have been divine no matter how painful they have been.

Yes, I am finally getting there, I am finally starting to see the divine purpose in all my experiences without judging myself for not doing them the right way. Perfection is not something to strive for, perfection is to recognize that it is something we already are. I am me, I have always been me the way I needed to be, I never needed to be more or better.

All I really ever wanted is to be accepted and loved the way I am. And the only person I have ever needed this from was myself. The validation and approval that I was seeking from others I was truly seeking and needing from myself.
And THAT is where true love begins.

I wanted to be filled up with love from my own heart, from my own acceptance as a human being. I craved to be acknowledged and seen for the perfectly imperfect person that I was.
Isn’t it beautiful to see how now we are all being re-directed to our own inner well of unconditional love? Isn’t it amazing to know that the love we seek for is really from and within ourselves? That we don’t need validation and approval of anyone else but ourselves?

True love, abundance, acceptance, joy, peace is something that only we can give ourselves. This is something we do not have to rely on to receive from others. We don’t have to search for it, it’s already there!
Turn inward for answers, turn inward for acceptance, turn inward for all that you crave to experience outside yourself for this is what will be mirrored to you once you start embracing all of who you are. The true meaning of unconditional love starts with the acceptance of your whole self.

What is it that you are looking truly looking for in this life? Seek this within yourself for it is YOU that can mold your reality into the experience that you long for the most.”

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