I am trying to create a job that I love and I decided to follow my heart and my passion and work for myself. So I started making spirit guide drawings and mandala’s for other people because drawing is something that I have loved doing since I can remember. And everytime I feel free and open there are people that are guided to me to create for them, which I am so grateful for because each one of them has a beautiful energy about them.

But here it comes: sometimes my ego gets in the way and it jumps into fear mode and convinces me that it is silly to think I can possibly make a living on my own of doing this. And when it does feel that it can actually make it work then my ego says: “oh no, it is too much, I can’t handle this flow of abundance, it’s not safe it’s too much to receive!”

In other words it means that I am afraid of receiving this much love from others. Their generosity and their trust and their gratefulness for me doing this for them is too much for my ego to handle as it does not believe it is worthy to receive love AKA money because they are the same thing.
I have a problem of receiving love, which is not uncommon for many of us because receiving money is equal to receiving love.

I believe that it can help many of us to understand why it is hard to receive love and to make a living out of something that you love doing. I talked to my guides about this and this is how the conversation went.

My guide: “You have to fully trust your heart and that it knows best for you. That the push you feel towards a certain direction is meant for you to follow. And yes you can feel fear and feel like you are not worthy enough but this is then the challenge for you to go deep and to feel that trust in yourself. Everything that puts you to a halt or causes you to say: “no, I don’t want to” is a challenge for you to see beyond the limitation. It doesn’t mean you need to do it, but it is an invitation to explore your own beliefs.
When you have a feeling of being abrutly stopped then there is usually a block that is causing that and it needs to be explored and mostly of all accepted with love. Because blocks are just fears that are a lack in love for yourself. So this block that you are feeling of accepting abundance is fear, it’s fear of feeling joy for yourself and it’s fear of all that is good. You have been taught that you don’t have enough to live from, that you have to get by, that there is never enough. Your father has this beliefsystem, because he doesn’t know any better, but you inherited it, so it is embedded in your system. To part with that belief you have to consciously choose to change that. Sit in meditation, go deep into yourself and talk to your cells that are in charge of abundance, they need to hear you and your reassurance of security and safety that they can open op and let the love in.. safety and love. They go hand in hand. So talk to yourself, change your belief.. and you can have that job that you want. You can have that abundance and that freedom. Do you want to work from home? YOU are the creator, my dear one, you get to choose, and it is all within your power to do so. Today, start changing that today and it can change by tomorrow if you believe it. The power to change the smallest and the biggest thing about yourself lie within yourself.”

Me: How do I become aware of this? 

My guide: “The fear will make itself known in variety of emotions. It is different for everyone. For you it is all in your heart as that is where you tap into get your power and your truth from.  So when there is a fear it will slowly build around it caused by certain fearful thoughts, they sneak in and they attach themselves and if you don’t notice them you will start to feel there is a block in your heart area. It will feel numb or numbed out. You have had this experience many times when you felt sad. And every time you got through it by feeling your fears and by going through the emotions and with you it is often sadness because fearful thoughts hurt you and they make you feel sad and lonely. It is not YOU that feels lonely, they are your fears that convince you that you are feeling lonely, unsafe and insecure. In your heart there is no emotion like that. It is all pure and it is all love. So the trick is not to let these emotions get attached to your heart space in the first place.

Me: How do I do that?

My guide: “You catch your thoughts before they settle themselves in your body. You become consciously aware of your thoughts when they enter your mind. Catch them like a fly. It will be hard in the beginning because negative thoughts seem as your own, but they are not. What happens when  you get negative thoughts is that you often tap into the collective conciousness of the place that you are in.
For instance if you are surrounded by people that have low self esteem and think of themselves as not good enough you tap into that energy and you pick up on these thoughts and you can either accept them or notice them that they are not yours and let them go.

Now I know that this is something that is not easy to do and it takes practice to do this but you were made to do this and to be consciously aware of other people’s emotions. It all starts with yourself, it is when you know how your body and your own emotions work that you can tell the difference between yours and others people thoughts and feelings.

You tap in the collective conciousness all the time, you pick up from random flying thoughts all the time. And since you have released yourself from many false beliefsystems these thoughts will not stick anymore because they do not feel as your own so then they just go. However, if you have a certain belief you are carrying, even the ones you are not aware of, you are more likely to be prone to negative thoughts concerning these beliefs. So then they settle in your mind and from your mind they go into the chakra which is the most open to receive it. And this is how thoughts can create fear that can create diseases in your body. If you let them work long enough and if you let them dwell in your system for some time then they can cause harm to your physical well being. This is why it is so important for everyone to be mindful of the thoughts that you are feeding. Choose to not hear the voice that convinces you of anything that is negative. Catch them! Make it your mission to speak to yourself in a loving matter and from the heart.