Each week we are receiving downloads and new information that enables us to go deeper into our hearts and to understand ourselves on a level that we have not yet experienced. Things are coming to light that we we not aware of about ourselves. Things that were buried away so deep that they weren’t even part of our reality, or so we thought. At this time all of our deepest fears and deepest wounds are being brought to light so that we can look at them and take the time to heal them. We have to experience them as if they happened all over again right now so that we can release them once and for all. It is impossible now for us to ignore it or to push it away. What we are feeling now isn’t there to be ignored any longer. We can no longer hold this kind of density in our body and we can physically feel uncomfortable or even get sick so we can release it. Often times when deep wounds are coming to light you may feel pressure inside, heartache, anxiety, panic attacks, overwhelming sadness, exhaustion, headaches, backpain, womb pain and many other symptoms of release. It is as if the body is going into shock and the trauma is being ripped away from the physical body by the amount of light that is being downloaded. It can no longer stay in the body as it has to make room for the light / soul to enter and be integrated.
The past week has been yet another week of releasing and integrating light into our vessel. Hidden trauma’s and beliefs are coming up so we are able to part with them.
I have had a pressure in my solar plexus, sacral and root chakra for over a week. It was not only a pressure but anxiety that had effect on my stomach and belly. A deep fear was triggered regarding trust and this time it affected my lower chakra’s.
I did not realize this about myself but I have never fully processed and healed my pain regarding the loss of close friendships. I have lost many close friendships due to several reasons but most were not by my own choice. I have always pushed this pain away and thought I made peace with the way things happened not knowing any better. The bonds and the trust I have with my soul sisters have always been stronger than I have had with men in relationships. Very early in life I have felt let down by these kind of connections and this pattern continued all my life. Each time I felt rejected, betrayed, abandoned, pushed away, alone and the build up of this pain has caused me to not trust people anymore. I have always been cautious in every relationship but the past week I have seen why this is and how much pain I felt from this disconnection to people, both men and women. It brought up anxiety and stress in my body and the energy in my solar plexus got blocked because of the memory of all the unprocessed pain in my cells. Deep sadness was felt and I was able to express it through tears. I have been grieving for the loss of past friendships and the love I have felt with them.
The longing to have a deep and solid connection with others is a desire that each of us have because this is our nature. We long to feel the oneness and the wholeness within ourselves and within the interactions with our soul brothers and soul sisters. But there is a deep sense of disconnection because of all the hurt and betrayal that was done unto us. This is a collective pain and also why we still feel like there is a competition amongst each other. Competing to be better, being jealous and envious, the need to prove our worth, be seen and heard, be validated and approved. These are emotions that we, as a collective, all have deep within us.
All we really want is to be accepted but we do not know how to express our pain so we show it in our actions that are really a cry for attention and the need to be loved. We have never been taught to express our feelings and pain, so we have tucked them away and continued our path oblivious to the trauma that we still carry inside.
This is where we are right now: no more hiding and no more protection out of fear.
We are healing in the most monumental way and we all deserve a round of applause for all the work that we have been doing to this point.
Working on the deepest issues of the whole of humanity is not an easy job but it is one that is necessary for our personal process and for the evolution of whole humankind.
We are moving mountains and we are gaining faith in humanity and in ourselves again. We are restoring bonds that have been broken and connections that have been cut. We are becoming our true selves again and we can see the wholeness in our existence.
We are not empty, we do not need to be filled up, we can be in peace now knowing that we are exactly who need to be.
This journey is not the end, it is only the beginning.